Monthly Archives: August 2016

BACK TO SCHOOL DEALS AND OTHER NEWS

Before getting into this week’s post…

Warriors of Virtue Logo

WARRIORS OF VIRTUE
Review Crew

Read Warriors of Virtue for free in exchange for honest reviews on Amazon, Goodreads, and the Web. If you are a fan of The Lord of the Rings, Sailor Moon, Avatar: The Last Air Bender, Chronicles of Narnia, fairytales and mythology I believe you will enjoy this new fantasy series. Review Crew spots are limited.




 


school-starts-sep-4-resistance-is-futile

As a Trekkie, this image always brings tears of laughter to my eyes. The person who did this is a genius!

This year school starts September 6th for the students in Toronto, and though most of the students starting first grade or preschool have no idea what Star Trek is, it is important to make them laugh, too. For this reason, I’ve decided to create some deals for my book Animals In My Hair.

Note: The Countdown Deal price range is CAD$0.99 to CAD$4.99

Note: The Countdown Deal price range is CAD$0.99 to CAD$4.99

I created this picture book to be the greatest picture book on the planet, but if you don’t believe me, or the 5 star reviews, maybe you’d believe the pirates.

That’s right, my book was pirated last week by a really sketchy site most likely full of all sorts of viruses. I’m not going to say where you can find it, but if you find it on your own, I hope you are smart enough not to risk your computer for the usual price of CAD$9.99. If you are fast you can get the book for $0.99 during the Countdown Deal.

Today is Monday, and though you have come to expect Mini-MEs on Mondays, the Mini-MEs are postponed until I finish illustrating the YA covers for Warriors of Virtue.

As I paint these covers, I’m becoming more and more aware of the differences between traditional and digital painting. If I was painting the covers traditionally, I would have several brushes in my hand to achieve the textured or smooth look I need. However, painting digitally, there is a lot of trial an error, playing with different brushes and opacity, levels, layers, textures… I’m really grateful to the Schoolism students and DeviantArt artists who have helped me improve Episode 1 Cover Art.

Here you can see the version before their input:

WofV Episode 1 Cornelian

Thank you to Sarah Gaudette, Ella Ben Yacov, Rajen Ramkallawan, and especially to Evan Winston and Wildweasel339 for taking the time to pain over my work.

And here is the version after:

WofV Episode 1 Cover Art

I added more light contrast compared to the previous image. The awesome font I’m using is Immortal by Apostrophic Labs.

I’ve decided to add the extra background element to show more about each featured character. For Episode 1 you can see Cornelian and Artemis in the alcove of their cottage (a scene from the first chapter), and Cornelian’s cottage in line art in the background.

Episode 2 features Lauraliee Lumijer as Nenya the water warrior. The wave showcases her powers, while the background is a scene of the Empyreal Castle, her home, and the seat of power in Ardan.

Warriors of Virtue Episode 2 Cover Art

I’ve made several minor changes to this artwork in the last few days. The final was changing the position of the eye highlights. At one point I forgot that the inside of the cloak needs to be iridescent and I WROTE THE BOOK! 🙂

I’m currently working on Episode 3 featuring Vladimir DePompier as Narya the fire warrior. I’m not sure what to include in his background. His family is famous for raising fire steeds, so maybe I’ll create a sketchy version of a fire horse…

WofV Episode 3 Cover in Progress

Thus far I’ve painted the background flames and blocked in basic character colours.

In other news… Mili Fay Art finally has an Instagram account: mili.fay.art

If you see Mili.Fay note that this is not me. Someone opened an account with my name, and thus far has kept it blank. Since I’m new to Instagram, I’ve been posting my progress there rather than on another social media account. Does anyone know how I can post an image in a rectangular format rather than a square?

However, I’ll be posting on Facebook and Twitter, too.

I cannot believe the summer is almost over! I’ve been working to have Warriors of Virtue out by mid-September, and have unfortunately spent most of my summer indoors!

I weep for the passing sunshine. Maybe, I’ll just forget about everything for a while, and go to the zoo and other places while the weather is still nice. If you don’t hear from me, you know that’s what I’m up to.

Until next time…

Keep smiling!

Mili

P.S. My favourite Star Trek team is of course The Next Generation. However, I really like the new movies (I managed to see Star Trek Beyond this past Friday in 3D—wish I could have seen it in IMAX—it is soooooo worth it for the flying scenes), and currently I’m watching Voyager on Netflix. The last couple of episodes in Season 4 were really funny.

OK. This geek is out of here! Live long and prosper.


To watch time-lapse videos and receive free full-resolution artwork join Mili Fay Art Fan Club. I only write to keep you in the loop and to send gifts. I hate spam and will never share your e-mail address.

 

 

 

 


 

————————————

Mili Fay--Portrait by Catia Da Costa of CDC Photography

© 2014 CDC PHOTOGRAPHY

Mili Fay, a Toronto-based artist, classical animator, illustrator, and author, is an award winning graduate of Sheridan College and Art Instruction Schools. In November of 2011 she created Mili Fay Art determined to support the world one artwork at a time.

Currently, Mili is working on her first ever illustrated Fantasy novel, Warriors of Virtue, about a reluctant princess who must prevent a war with dragon-people, while keeping her mission a secret from her over-protective mother.

Her latest published work is Animals In My Hair; a story about a boy who goes for his first haircut only to find endangered animals falling out of his hair.

Join Mili Fay Art Fan Club to stay in touch with Mili Fay and to be the first to find out of her upcoming books and artworks.

Posted in Animals In My Hair, Uncategorized, Warriors of Virtue Tagged , , , , , , , , , |

Free YA Fantasy Books Online And Epic Hero’s Journey

Before getting into this week’s post…

Warriors of Virtue Logo

WARRIORS OF VIRTUE
Review Crew

Read Warriors of Virtue for free in exchange for honest reviews on Amazon, Goodreads, and the Web. If you are a fan of The Lord of the Rings, Sailor Moon, Avatar: The Last Air Bender, Chronicles of Narnia, fairytales and mythology I believe you will enjoy this new fantasy series. Review Crew spots are limited.




 


This week’s Mini-ME:

Merry and Pippin from The Lord of the Rings surrounded by stolen food.

Merry and Pippin from The Lord of the Rings


I have been talking about Warriors of Virtue, my upcoming fantasy, since I first decided to publish the series in November of 2014.  It has been almost two years, and my first Episode still needs to make its debut online. People are beginning to ask me: “When will it be done?”

This is a difficult question to answer, because publishing Warriors of Virtue is just as great an epic story as the fantasy series. I am the hero of the epic, an artist/writer fighting for a dream, against vast competition and prejudice on a non-existent budget.

I believe it will be soon. Currently I’m seeking readers willing to read the series for free in exchange for honest reviews. This is the first time I will be publishing a book I will markup myself (this is why I took Ryerson’s Digital Publishing and Design course—my current average is 96.96%), adding illustrations to a format that is more suited to reflowable text. I need readers to let me know if the books work technically before I extend them to the general public.

As you may have realized, I am a perfectionist. If my stories are not good enough not only to compete with trade publications, but to surpass them, there is no point in my self-publishing work at all. I firmly believe that Warriors of Virtue is a great epic story that will survive long after I am gone, but I am also open to second opinion. I am Arthur, but I need Merlin to guide me. The Review Crew is to take that role, ensuring that the book produced is the greatest work of fiction to hit not only digital shelves, but world-wide trade publishing shelves. Are you willing to step forward and join the crew? Space is limited and perks go beyond getting the story for free. You can stimulate change, and be a part of a revolution that has not been seen since Harry Potter. Not only will this story entertain, but I hope it will inspire the readers to make a positive change for the entire world.

I believe this so much, that I challenge you to prove me wrong. 🙂

So, though I think I can have the first few episodes in the series done by mid-September/beginning of October 2016, I will not release Warriors of Virtue until I am 100% confident that the fantasy is the best YA fantasy not only since Harry Potter, but since The Lord of the Rings.

The Beginning or Why have I quit my job and have spent the last few years living at home trying to bring my vision to fruition?

After my grandfather’s surprising death in 2009, I have lost my will to live. Nothing mattered. I have never experienced such grief, and everything seemed pointless. It has been the lowest point in my life. So low in fact, that I found myself leaning outside of a seven-story window wondering if I should just let go.

But as in every story, as in mine, when a low point squashes the hero, the hero fights back. I pulled myself back into the apartment and decided that instead of ending my life, I need to change my life.

My grandfather’s death has been the catalyst, the “Call to Adventure”.

Prior to my grandfather’s death, I lived in the “Ordinary World” (If you have no idea what I’m referring to study the Hero’s Journey). Before his death, I was a people-pleaser, believing that if I was as good as a Disney Princess, life would reward me with my happily ever after.

After my grandfather’s death I realized that I have only one life to live, and that I should do everything in my power to make my own dreams come true. So, even though I never sought to be a leader, I decided to stop working for others and to bring the gifts I was given to the world. This was my “Call to Adventure”, “Refusal of the Call” (fears of failure if I strike out on my own), “Meeting the Mentor” (I was encouraged my teacher Mark Thurman, and inspired by Bobby Chiu.).

The way I use to believe in fairytales, now I know that art can change the world. My vision is simple: create fabulous art; sell fabulous art that will create a positive influence in the client’s life; use 30% of profits to help others.

I “Crossed the Threshold” when I decided to quit searching for further jobs, and created Mili Fay Art.

I am fortunate in that I have a very supportive family. When I told them I was quitting looking for further jobs and instead decided to work on my art, they said OK.

You see, I’m the only artist/writer in my family. My family members are all down-to-earth practical people who believe that happiness is found in a steady job and healthy family life. I on the other hand believe that I have been showered with gifts to change the world. It may be hubris, but as a very logical person, I cannot see what the point would be otherwise. If Forces That Be wanted me to find a steady job and a healthy family life of my own, instead of showering me with visions of other worlds and characters that appear more real than a lot of the living people around me, they would surely have presented me with job opportunists after college and would have made me feel more passion for the members of the opposite sex?

I have met my “Test, Allies, Enemies” as I was working on Animals In My Hair (the first book I self-published which thus far is enjoying unanimous praise). I continue to face Tests (new unfamiliar challenges, such as publishing a reflowable book), Allies (friends and fans), and Enemies (competition, lack of funds, etc.) as I continue my journey, and as I “Approach the Innermost Cave”. Most of the time, I am confident that Warriors of Virtue will be fabulous, but there are days when I wonder if maybe I’m just crazy.

You can continue to follow my journey, you can participate and become my Allies by joining the Review Crew, but until I face my “Ordeal” I also hope you will find entertainment in the fantasy Mini-MEs I’m creating to distress and find more Allies.

Lastly, I want you to remember that this is my Hero’s Journey, and though you are not the hero of my journey, you are the hero of your own, so when your “Call to Action” comes, when you reach that low point in your life, decide to be a Hero, too.

Wishing you only the best!

Mili Fay


To watch time-lapse videos and receive free full-resolution artwork join Mili Fay Art Fan Club. I only write to keep you in the loop and to send gifts. I hate spam and will never share your e-mail address.

 

 

 

 


 

————————————

Mili Fay--Portrait by Catia Da Costa of CDC Photography

© 2014 CDC PHOTOGRAPHY

Mili Fay, a Toronto-based artist, classical animator, illustrator, and author, is an award winning graduate of Sheridan College and Art Instruction Schools. In November of 2011 she created Mili Fay Art determined to support the world one artwork at a time.

Currently, Mili is working on her first ever illustrated Fantasy novel, Warriors of Virtue, about a reluctant princess who must prevent a war with dragon-people, while keeping her mission a secret from her over-protective mother.

Her latest published work is Animals In My Hair; a story about a boy who goes for his first haircut only to find endangered animals falling out of his hair.

Join Mili Fay Art Fan Club to stay in touch with Mili Fay and to be the first to find out of her upcoming books and artworks.

Posted in Uncategorized, Warriors of Virtue Tagged , , , , , , |

Warriors of Virtue Episodes 1-9 YA Fantasy Rough Cover Art

I’m currently seeking fans of fantasy who would like to read Warriors of Virtue in exchange for an honest review. If you liked The Lord of the Rings, Sailor Moon, Avatar: The Last Airbender, and love mythology and fairytales, join here.

To watch time-lapse videos and receive free full-resolution artwork join Mili Fay Art Fan Club. I only write to keep you in the loop and to send gifts. I hate spam and will never share your e-mail address.

 

 

 

 


If you are new to this blog, I have been writing and sketching a fantasy series, Warriors of Virtue, since I was sixteen years old. Currently the text is with my editor, and I’ve been illustrating the entire series while I wait. However, after speaking with several fans who cannot wait for the illustrated edition, I’ve decided to release a limited text-only edition. This edition will feature more realistic cover art appropriate for a YA audience. Each episode features one of the main characters.

Episode 1: Featuring Cornelian and Artemis

Warriors of Virtue Episode 1 Rough Cover Design showing Cornelian and Artemis at the cauldron.

Rough sketch showing Cornelian and Artemis looking inside The Cauldron. I was inspired by some Arabian designs for the cauldron. This moment is the catalyst for the entire series.

Cornelian the Great is great because he helped defeat the Dragon Lord Malachite approximately 150 years ago. He is the greatest wizard in Ardan (the land where the story takes place), and a catalyst for Warriors of Virtue. When writing Cornelian I was inspired by Gandalf the Gray and Merlin from Disney’s The Sword in the Stone. Cornelian has a quite complicated story of his own that I may write in the future, in this series he serves as our heroes’ teacher and guide.

Artemis is a descendant of Athena’s Little Owl. He’s lived for millennia, is immortal, arrogant, and brilliant. He did something terrible to anger the gods and has been sent to serve Cornelian as punishment. However, by the time this story takes place, Cornelian and Artemis are friends, colleagues, and companions, not master and servant. Artemis loves tea and manicures.

Episode 2: Featuring Lauraliee as Nenya

Warriors of Virtue Episode 2 rough cover art featuring Lauraliee as Nenya, the Water Warrior.

Lauraliee as the Water Warrior, Nenya. Lauraliee at sixteen has a freakish talent with a sword. She has not been defeated in a swordfight since she was fourteen.

Lauraliee Elizabeth Vickomtessa Lumijer (I have included her full name but am excluding all the exalted titles) is the sixteen-year old main character of the story.


Warriors of Virtue is written in the third person omniscient point of view, follows the point of view of many characters, but if Lauraliee is in the scene the reader is focused on her experiences.


Lauraliee is a reluctant princess, who knows that one day she will become Queen, longing for an ordinary life. However, she has also been raised well by her mother, the reigning Queen Dragana, and takes responsibilities of her stations seriously. She is the eldest child in her family, and strives to set a good example for her sister and cousins. Lauraliee loves to read and paint, and has an unusual talent with the sword. She has not been defeated in combat since she was fourteen.

As the story progresses, she becomes Nenya, the Water Warrior.


Warriors of Virtue (originally there were five: Nenya/Water, Narya/Fire, Viliya/Air, Terrya/Earth, and Mettya/Metal) were created by Mistress Nature (creator of Ardan) in the Great War to stand against Lord Malachite. Malachite killed the Earth and Metal warriors and managed to capture the spirits. As our story begins, there are only three Elemental Spirits free: Water, Fire, and Air.


Episode 3: Featuring Vladimir as Narya

Warriors of Virtue Episode 3 Rough Cover Design featuring Narya, the Fire Warrior.

Vladimir at fifteen is the Fire Warrior, Narya. Even though he does not use the bow and arrow (in the first volume he only uses darts), he is superior in archery.

Vladimir Nicholas Alexander DePompier is Lauraliee’s fifteen-year-old cousin. His mother is Queen Dragana’s sister. His father’s family is famous for breeding fire-steeds, horses of brimstone and living flame. Vladimir is a quick-tempered, charming prankster. He’s been living at the Empyreal Castle most of his life, and is more like a brother to his two cousins. He’s in love with Anuck, the only child of chief Muhawaka. Vladimir loves Mushwaki and often argues with Nikolina over games. He is also a talented archer.


Mushwaki is a sport played in Ardan similar to soccer but at a certain point before scoring a player must continue the game keeping the ball of the ground (without using his hands). The ball is smaller, and the goalie must prevent its entrance by using a racquet-like instrument.


He becomes Narya, the Fire Warrior.

Episode 4: Featuring Nikolina as Viliya

Warriors of Virtue Episode 4 rough cover design showcaseing Viliya, the Wind Warrior.

Nikolina (fourteen years old) is the Wind Warrior, Viliya. She has the ability to speak with animals.

Nikolina Katherine Marissa Lumijer is Lauraliee’s fourteen-year-old sister. She is extraordinarily beautiful, sweet, and kind. However, she is not afraid to get in a skirmish with her cousin. She is a tomboy, who loves exploring nature and can speak to animals. She adores her sister and cousin, but just because she’s the youngest does not mean she will let them get away with anything.

Nikolina becomes Viliya, the Wind Warrior.

Episode 5: Featuring Srdjan

Warriors of Virtue Episode 5 Rough Cover featuring Srdjan.

Srdjan knows how to use a wooden staff. He also has more Earth than he should and becomes Cornelian’s Apprentice.

Srdjan Jović’s parents are court ambassadors. When he and Lauraliee were seven they met, got into a fight, and became best friends. He moved into the Children’s Tower and has been tutored by Cornelian with his new friends. He has a talent for wielding a staff, and has more Earth in him than any human should, eventually becoming Cornelian’s apprentice.

Episode 6: Featuring Vert

Warriors of Virtue Episode 6 rough cover art featuring Vert Swiftwing.

Vert Swiftwing is Prince Diamond’s best friend and Captain of the Guard. He can transform into a green dragon of Swift class.

Vert Swiftwing is Prince Diamond’s Captain of the Guard and best friend. He is about 200 years old but appears to be twenty. This is because dragon-people age slower than humans. Vert can transform into a green dragon of the Swift class. He has no issues with humans, but must follow Lord Malachite’s orders. Unlike Diamond who never ventured far beyond Storm Rock, Vert has spent his life exploring Ardan. He is witty and charming. His weapon of choice: throwing daggers.

Episode 7: Featuring Diamond

Warriors of Virtue Episode 7 rough cover art featuring Diamond Pendragon.

Prince Diamond Pendragon was a ruler of the dragon people for hundred and fifty years. He does not know whether to believe his father when he says that humans are evil.

Diamond Pendragon has ruled his people in a hermit kingdom at Storm Rock after the defeat of his father, Lord Malachite, since he was five (or should I say fifty) years old. He witnessed his father’s imprisonment (and—he thought—death) at the hands of the Warriors of Virtue. In the hundred and fifty years of his rule, he never returned to the council of Ardan, keeping his people to themselves. After his father’s miraculous escape, he argues with him against a war on humans. However, what if his father is right and humans are a plague that will destroy Ardan in the end? Diamond wishes he had bothered to find out more about humans when he had the chance.

Episode 8: Featuring Lady Avalon

Warriors of Virtue Episode 8 cover art featuring Lady Avalon Starshine.

Lady Avalon is an accomplished witch and in the author’s opinion a total nutcase.

Lady Avalon Starshine is Diamond’s Aunt, twin-sister of his mother, Elonway. Daughter of a dragon nobleman and a star, she’s extraordinarily beautiful and well-versed in magic. She practices all kinds of magic, including Dark Magic, but she is not as powerful as Malachite, Cornelian, or Mistress Nature. She loves Malachite Pendragon, but is not particularly fond of her nephew.

Episode 9: Featuring Lord Malachite

Warriors of Virtue Episode 9 cover art featuring Lord Malachite.

Lord Malachite has a very good reason for hating humans to the point where he wants to exterminate them.

Lord Malachite Pendragon, a.k.a. the Dragon Lord, is the ruler of the dragon-people and Diamond’s father. He learned to hate humans and has spent the last portion of his life trying to exterminate them from Ardan. He hates humans so much that he tried to get rid of his own human side with Dark Magic, but instead managed to get stuck in a form neither human nor dragon. Malachite is the most powerful sorcerer in Ardan, only Mistress Nature can match his magic and she’s a goddess. His goal in life is to destroy every human in Ardan, thus saving all the non-human residents, and rule as his people have ruled for generations.

Well, there you have it: the first nine YA covers. Let me know what you think in the comments, and if you are interested in reading the first 9 episodes in exchange for an honest review on Amazon and Goodreads, please contact me.

All the best!

Mili Fay

————————————

Mili Fay--Portrait by Catia Da Costa of CDC Photography

© 2014 CDC PHOTOGRAPHY

Mili Fay, a Toronto-based artist, classical animator, illustrator, and author, is an award winning graduate of Sheridan College and Art Instruction Schools. In November of 2011 she created Mili Fay Art determined to support the world one artwork at a time.

Currently, Mili is working on her first ever illustrated Fantasy novel, Warriors of Virtue, about a reluctant princess who must prevent a war with dragon-people, while keeping her mission a secret from her over-protective mother.

Her latest published work is Animals In My Hair; a story about a boy who goes for his first haircut only to find endangered animals falling out of his hair.

Join Mili Fay Art Fan Club to stay in touch with Mili Fay and to be the first to find out of her upcoming books and artworks.

Posted in Uncategorized, Warriors of Virtue Tagged , , , , , , , , , , |

Empathy: A Neverending Pain

Unexplained pain in the body. Feeling sad when I should not be sad. Unable to work, because I feel overwhelmed… I think it may all be related to being an empath and not knowing how to separate what I’m feeling from what others are feeling.

If you would like to watch time-lapse videos and receive free full-resolution artwork join Mili Fay Art Fan Club. I only write to keep you in the loop and to send gifts. I hate spam and will never share your e-mail address.

 

 

 

 


Last weekend was a long weekend. My sister and parents were away, and though I love them more than I can say, I was looking forward to being alone for a few days. My plan was to finish the Mini-ME, as well as the remaining three rough covers for Warriors of Virtue on Saturday and Sunday, see friends I have not seen on Sunday for lunch, and meet another friend and hang out with her on Monday.

The reality of the weekend was that instead of work, I spent most of my time sleeping, eating, and watching TV (I watched a very silly show Good Morning Call—it reminded me of Sailor Moon—on Netflix.) I did have friends over for lunch on Sunday, but on Monday my friend must have forgotten we had plans since she never responded to my message. I’m not upset, because being alone, I realised how much I needed to be alone. I needed to decompress, and though I’ve been resting all Saturday and Sunday, I do not feel particularly rested even today.

I thought about: “Why?” Why have I become so anti-social this weekend, to the point where I did not leave the house for two days?

I am an introvert. Borderline introvert, but still I’m over the line according to the 16 Personalities Quiz. I have also recently become aware that I am an empath. At times I am grateful, because empathy allows me to put feelings into my work as an artist. I believe this makes my work come alive better than if I tried to put feelings I did not feel into a work. However, most of the time, being an empath is a curse.

“It is estimated that around 15-20 percent of the population is highly sensitive and another 2-3 percent of the population are empaths.” [1]

According to this article, I’m both highly sensitive (I felt queasy in my doctor’s office when it was decorated in purple gray and maroon—”dead armadillo” colours) and an empath (I feel what other’s feel).

I have stopped watching news, because it takes me hours to “get over” hearing about disasters. My mind goes into a tail spin as I try to comprehend how people can perform such horrors upon one another, and I walk around in a daze not getting anything done.

Last week’s Tuesday, I was happy: my Digital Publishing and Design class ended on a positive note; I spent the evening with friends I have not seen in a while; I got a new haircut; and I felt healthy. Then I walked into my house and found out that my sister’s boyfriend’s father was dying. It felt like a punch. All the happiness was swept of away by waves and waves of pain. I felt my sister’s ache, my mom’s worry, and the memory pain of my grandfather’s death all at once. I hid it well, because I tried to be supportive, but a selfish part of me kept on screaming inside: “WHY? Why could you not let me feel happy for a little while longer?”

On Wednesday morning the poor man died, and I could not focus. My mind kept on reaching to comfort, while a part of me tried to protect myself and focus on work. For the next few days I was mentally “paralyzed”; I could not work; I could not think; I felt pain, though I have never met the man. I kept reliving my grandfather’s death, imagined losing my parents, and was so overwhelmed by grief that I could not function. I decided not to go to the funeral, because as I said I did not really know these people (I remember wishing all the strangers at my grandfather’s funeral would go away so that I could grieve in peace), and also because I do not know how to block people’s emotions from overwhelming me. Then I felt guilty for not being more supportive, even though I told myself I was doing the right thing.

If you are not an empath you have no idea what I’m talking about. Most people have sympathy for others. Sympathy allows one to feel compassion, but it keeps one detached. Empaths feel what others feel. When people tell me they hurt, I begin to physically hurt. If they feel sick, I feel sick. If they are sad, I am sad. The only bright side is that most of the time the emotions are not as strong as the person’s actually feeling them. I try so hard to separate myself from the feeling of others by imagining putting up mental walls to keep the feelings away, but it rarely works. By the end of the struggle, I feel so tired; the only way I can describe it is to say that it feels as if someone has stepped on me. Even on happy days when I am out with my friends, I feel tired the next day. I’ve read somewhere that this is because we empaths are like energy plugs in society. People plug in and drain us dry. If my life was working out according to plan, I would not mind because happiness would recharge me. However, as a struggling artist, who is building something from nothing without a guarantee of success and instant gratification, I do not have energy to spare. Sometimes, it is all I can do to get up in the morning.

I’m always cheerful in company. I even gave birth to this awful chuckle, which I employ relating horrible things as if by chuckling at the end I can almost make it into a joke. It is quite dreadful; I’m working on stopping. This too stems from being an empath. Feeling others’ misery, I work insanely hard to never bring misery to others. As an artist and writer I create comedies instead of tragedies. When I feel small, weak, and defeated, I put on a smile and act powerful, strong, and energetic. Only when I’m alone in my room, or as I’m showering, do I sometimes let negative emotions surface as I try to observe them and put them aside. I say “sometimes”, because I rarely allow myself to feel anything negative even when I’m alone. I was raised to be strong and to be an example to others, so I must never admit when I’m broken. Inevitably there come days when I cannot pretend any longer, and I go into a hurricane of grief, despair, and anger that is scary for anyone around me. When this happens I usually barricade myself in my room with a box of tissues and do not step outside until the storm passes.

I’m always there to lend a shoulder, and people have told me in the past how I seem to know just what to say. However, I cannot seem to find a shoulder to cry on. I try. I try with my sister and my closest friends, but once again I’m unable to let everything go, because I do not want to hurt them.

Sometimes I wonder if the ability to place emotions into a work of fiction are truly worth the miseries of life.

Are you an empath? Do you have advice on how to protect yourself? Please let me know in the comments.

Mili Fay

————————————

Mili Fay--Portrait by Catia Da Costa of CDC Photography

© 2014 CDC PHOTOGRAPHY

Mili Fay, a Toronto-based artist, classical animator, illustrator, and author, is an award winning graduate of Sheridan College and Art Instruction Schools. In November of 2011 she created Mili Fay Art determined to support the world one artwork at a time.

Currently, Mili is working on her first ever illustrated Fantasy novel, Warriors of Virtue, about a reluctant princess who must prevent a war with dragon-people, while keeping her mission a secret from her over-protective mother.

Her latest published work is Animals In My Hair; a story about a boy who goes for his first haircut only to find endangered animals falling out of his hair.

Join Mili Fay Art Fan Club to stay in touch with Mili Fay and to be the first to find out of her upcoming books and artworks.

Posted in Uncategorized Tagged , , |